The nominees for the Inaugural BNP Awards have finally been put up online: read on below for an exclusive preview of this year’s winners!

THE MEL GIBSON AWARD FOR BEST HOLLYWOOD RACIST

Won: Mrs Sharon Stone.

Runner up: Mr Roger Moore

THE NEVILLE NEVILLE AWARD FOR MOST UNIMAGINATIVE PARENTS

Won: Mr Paul Paul

THE LITTLE BLACK SAMBO AWARD FOR BEST POTENTIAL CHILDREN’S BOOK CHARACTER

Winner: A straight tie between Mrs Winnifred Pickles, Mrs Penny Peachey, Mr Fred C Pretty and Mr Peter Pleasants

THE KU KLUX KLAN AWARD FOR BEST ALLITERATION

Winner: Mrs Shirley Shatwell (also a strong contender in the innuendo category)

THE SARAH PALIN AWARD FOR BEST EMAIL

Winner: scrotaljakhammer666@blahblahblah…

Runner up: Local parish councilor Tom Richardson’s Tom_is_richardson@etcetc… Best screamed a la 300
…TOM…IS…RICHARDSON!!!!

THE DAILY MAIL AWARD FOR MOST SPECTACULAR MISSING OF POINT

Winner: shared between Mr Steve Szczpanek, Mr Szwarc Taglione and Mr Stanislav Tenkovskiy

BEST REASON FOR NON-RENEWAL OF MEMBERSHIP

Winner: Mr Anthony Rogers – “Jehova (sic) God only real hope for mankind”

THE WOLF CREEK AWARD FOR MOST SUSPICIOUSLY FOREBODING OFFER OF HELP

Winner: Mrs Anita Rudin – “Has large barn available for use”

THE TIMMY MALLET AWARD FOR MOST APROPOS SURNAME

Winner: One of the many Savages – any relationship to this one, perhaps?

THE DREW PEACOCK AND RICHARD HEAD MEMORIAL AWARD FOR SERVICES TO INNUENDO

Winner: Mr Richard Shunter

Very close runner up: Mr Richard Skill

THE ‘AWW HELL NAW’ AWARD

Winner: Shared between all three Mr William Smiths

THE ‘LOOKS GOOD BY COMPARISON TO FAMILY MEMBERS’ AWARD

Winner: Mr Paul Ross